just breathe: scribbles, lists & notes (1)

Whenever I have an idea or a project that I want to work on, like I imagine most of you would, I scribble notes, lists, symbols, pictures, references, and half written English on whatever I can find. Here's what I believe to be the first little note (at least that I can find) where I have referenced working on this project. If you look at the top three "sentences" written on this note book paper, the third line reads work on film. This piece of paper is dated 7/20/09, 7/17/09 and 7/16/09? I'm going to go ahead and say that the 20th pertains to the notes on the movie. Regardless, I'm pretty sure that this was around the time that we stopped coordinating the art gala. At this time I had no idea of what "working on this film" was. The interesting thing is that the first line reads make one sheet. I think that may have been for the film? Even possibly the gala? What was my idea and purpose of the one sheet at this stage? What did I even believe the one sheet to be? I'm not so sure at this point.

As I mentioned earlier, I would I write on anything at any given moment. This piece of paper is actually out of a notebook I was using for work. The other scribbles look like travel info, confirmation numbers, video edits, and other random phone numbers. I get these moments where I have to stop what I'm doing and focus my attention elsewhere, and then come back to whatever I was doing before and sometimes I never do, at least not right at that moment, sometimes it takes, hours, days, or years even...and sometimes some ideas never see the light of day. Tim Burton had a great phrase for describing unfinished work...does anyone remember what that was? If you do please let me know.

just breathe...? not yet, still holding my breath

Even though I had had this epiphany and was finally clear on the beginning, middle, and end of the story, the production of just breathe was still on a list... meaning there were other things I was involved in that either took precedence or were just as significant. It still didn't stand on its own...

During the summer of 2009 I had an idea to throw a Women's art gala. Basically I would get all my female friends that were artists and find a space where they could display their work and possibly sell a piece or two. I looked around and saw that nearly every friend of mine was some sort of artist, whether a jewelry designer or an actress, they surrounded me. August 29th of 2009 marked 10 years of my living in New York City so the idea was to throw this event as a gift to myself, attendees, and participants of the gala. This event was priority. I saw it as a House, while my film was just a room in it. One of my contributions to the event was to screen my "soon to be shot" short film... Although it would have been amazing, my goal at the time was to build this house. So with that I started prepping extensively and came up with entire break down of the how, where, why, and what. Below is the unedited, incomplete skeleton for the event written a year ago almost to day, June, 16, 2009:


The Ladies Art Expose: A Celebration Gift of Ten Years In Art


Lori Stewart’s Introduction


I would like to introduce myself. My name is Lori Stewart, I’m 27 and this
September 2009 marks my tenth year as a resident of New York City.
When I speak of my ten years here in NYC, one of the first things I say is
that this city is where I had all of my “firsts”. First apartment, first boyfriend,
first everything that marks one as an adult. Although I have experienced
very many highs as well as very many lows, one thing that has kept me
grounded and kept me excited was my belief in my art and creativity.
Although I graduated from the School Of Visual Arts with a film degree, I
consider myself an ARTIST in every sense of the word because I take
whatever it is I am feeling, thinking, or seeing in my mind and attempt to
make it tangible and share it all by creating something out of all of every
emotion that I experience. I am excited by the art made by those around
me and the art that I see created everyday on the streets of NY.

(here I talk about why I chose to highlight only women’s art and the history
of woman in art)



I. PURPOSE
II. GOAL
III. ARTISTS TO INVITE
IV. LOCATION/DATE
V. SPONSORS
VI. WHAT ONE ATTENDING CAN EXPECT
VII. FINAL OUTCOME
VIII. **extras**

I. Purpose

My purpose for this Woman’s Gala is to have women from all backgrounds, all
places, and from every art medium to come into one space and share what
they know, their art, their passion, and their experiences. I would like to invite
all of those willing to take part in a learning experience full of culture and art
brought to the masses by a large array of female artists and designers.

II. Goal

My goal is to create a space where anyone can enter and feel at ease moving
about from exhibition to exhibition, learning, creating and sharing; that is my
goal for each attendee.


III. Artist To invite

When thinking of a large array of artists, especially those that are female, the
list is endless. Friends that are:

Painters
Sculptors
Clothing designers
Jewelry designers
Makeup artists
Photographers
Shoe designers
Graphic designers (for web, print, etc)
Installation artists
Mixed media
Live action
Filmmakers
Documentarians
Authors
Motivators
DJs
Directors
Actors
Singers
Musicians
Dancers
Arts/Crafts

IV. Location/Date

I would like to try for the Laura Little Studio space in downtown Manhattan on
Broadway almost at Canal. The location is great and there is a small bar set up
and elevator access. If not here a loft or warehouse space in Brooklyn,
Williamsburg, or Dumbo would be ideal. There may also be spaces avail in
Bushwick as well. Things to take into account for the space, location, elevator
access, train accessibility, will it be avail the day before to set up and the day
after to clean up. Parking space for visits and movers for large pieces on
display. Cost. I think Moira would be great to get her friends together and work
on locking down a space. The ideal date is Saturday, September 5th 2009. If
we decide to showcase an additional day it would be that Sunday, September
6th 2009. That is Labor Day weekend. Which could be either a good or bad
thing, that’s something to discuss. If this weekend does not work I’d go with
the second weekend in September the 12 and 13h I believe.

V. Sponsors. Very important. Susan I will need all of your help on your end to
get this going, as well as Moira to round up her people here in the art
community for their support and guidance.

VI. What An Attendee Can Expect

A day/weekend full of eclectic art showcases and fun. An opportunity to see
NY’s female’s artist all in one room and share in their work.

VII. Final Outcome

I’d like for all of those who attend to leave taking away a piece of what they
have seen and to share it with their peers and hopefully fuse their art, designs,
and or experiences with one of the featured artists.

**extras**
1. How to go about contacting artists. Create 1 uniform way
of inviting an artist to participate. Sending one invite with
purpose and goal listed as a way to introduce the gala to
the participant.

2. Are any ar tists (or anyone besides, space owners,
movers) expecting to be paid?


3. Press. Let’s have a few people there documenting the
festival. Interviewers. Also need a great way of getting
the word out.

4. Setting up the space, curator. It will be crucial to set the
space up appropriately so that each artist feels
comfortable in her space and that each set up is easily
accessible by those in attendance.

I will add more as things pop up.

Here’s a start.

June 16, 2009

Lori Stewart

I asked my good friend Esi Evans to get involved with the planning; locking in artists and talking to her friends that were curators, etc. It was Esi, myself and Moira Meltzer-Cohen. I met Moira I believe in April of 2009 at an art show sponsored by Diesel in Soho. Another friend and artist, Lynnette Astaire had her photography on display there. Somehow Moira and I started chatting which led to many meetings throughout the start of that summer about making this art expose happen. She was very supportive of the event. What started off as an idea, quickly led to several conversations, phone calls, to do lists, and even creating a company name, and discussing a logo to accompany it... I think we decided on "b. a. g." and right now I don't remember what those letters stood for. But at the time we felt we needed a name, so that we would seem established, and therefore we could get a venue and other millions of elements needed to get the show on the road. Towards the end of the summer these talks, calls, and lists all disintergrated. Moira who became our driving force (and frankly who had the most and best contacts in this area) announced that she would be starting law school and we all just took several steps back from the project... I took so many steps back that I fell right were I was supposed to, back into this film with nothing in sight except this character. This is when JUST BREATHE finally became my number one and only priority.

just breathe: the years of labor & unexpected self discovery

As I mentioned before it took me years to finally focus on this piece. The story of THE GIRL reached a turning point one night on Manhattan's Lower East Side, I believe it was November 2008, my birthday month, but after my birthday a time that I generally feel most productive and or a spurt of motivation. Anyway I was listening to “Breathe” and internally processing each beat each high and each low of the song, all the while following THE GIRL in my mind as she moved about, and at a particular point felt that she had a moment of discovery, a singular instance that turned her day or even life in a different direction and the beauty of this moment was that it came from absolutely no where. It had no rhyme or reason, it had no beginning or end, it made no sense to the normal flow of current circumstances yet it gave me the biggest jolt and sense of satisfaction, it nearly “took my breath away” and as a result two things happened, first I shed a tear of joy for the character for having allowed herself to let go during this occasion, then I shed a tear for myself for finally nailing the key point of this story; the insanity all made perfect sense!! The insanity of that moment that THE GIRL was experiencing as well as the insanity and unexpected happenings of my reality…..it meshed. The second thing that happened was that I finally was able to begin getting serious about telling this story; I saw the importance of sharing this piece with the world…

just breathe: the conception

The moment I heard "Breathe" by Telepopmusik I knew I wanted to tell a story around this song. It capitalized on the feeling that I knew so well, being alone, not lonely, but being one with my thoughts, and allowing myself to accept every feeling that erupted whether good or bad. I always loved taking the bus in NY, and at this time I was on the M15 I believe traveling south on 2nd avenue and listening to this track on a CD player (old!) and watching my reflection in the window and again sitting with thoughts.... it had to have been 2000, ten years ago? A very long time ago. At that time, the story was just centered around this one girl, very much like myself, living in New York and thinking, what more is there to life, and to her present existence and wanting to embark on the journey of answering that question.......but then...years went by......the feeling that I had about the story was still very present in my mind yet it got to the point where I could not listen to the song at all, although I loved it so much, I felt unsatisfied and disappointed with myself for not having yet told this story about this girl. But now I can say, that those years that went by, and my disappointment and frustration actually helped create this character of THE GIRL that I have since been able to share, and I look back now and think, that time & those years, were definitely worth it. So finally after toying with several prospective projects, I chose to move forward with executing this piece entitled JUST BREATHE a short film, edited to Telepopmusik's "Breathe" about hope and the endless possibilities that life has to offer once we allow ourselves to just let go...